Some people cry when they cut onions. I try not to form an emotional bond.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I've written a song about a tortilla.
Well, it's more of a wrap.Submitted by: giorgiss
Life is like a box of chocolates; my wife gets really annoyed when I try to finish hers.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My friend was saying how he thinks Megan Fox is the hottest thing ever.
He obviously hasn't bit straight into a fresh McDonald's apple pie.Submitted by: giorgiss
Did you know there?s a McDonald's opposite the Vatican?
Its disgusting having to look at that horrible place whilst trying to enjoy a Big Mac.Submitted by: giorgiss
Carlsberg, I'm hearing a lot of "Ifs" but seeing very little in the way of actual progress.
Submitted by: giorgiss
We are so poor, my wife's having ordinary K for breakfast.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought some dry roasted peanuts from Tesco. I looked at the packet and it said "Warning. Contains Nuts". Luckily, this prevented me from eating them and going into anaphylactic shock due to my severe nut allergy.
My lactose intolerant friend wasn't so lucky, as the half pint of milk he bought from Tesco outrageously contained no such warning of its contents.Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken."
So I opened up the box, and sure enough...Submitted by: giorgiss
I had the Hiroshima Breakfast this morning.
One giant mushroom and loads of burnt soldiersSubmitted by: giorgiss
