A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."Submitted by: giorgiss
Just walked past a pub sign that read "Three courses 15.50"
Feel sorry for all those students paying about 9 grand for one.Submitted by: giorgiss
When I was at school, I once had to do homework on historical landmarks of England.
I remember nearly falling to my death from the top of St Paul's Cathedral.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've been practicing my hammer throwing ready for the Olympics.
Now I'm banned from B&Q.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife asked me, seeing as I am a bit of a joker could I provide some light humour at one of her dinner parties.
I agreed and stood there flicking the switch on and off for half hour.Submitted by: giorgiss
Has anyone else thought of going up to girl in a bar and saying, "Get your rat out love"
Don't bother.Submitted by: giorgiss
I drove a fit drunken girl home in my taxi tonight, and when we arrived at her house, she told me she had no money, but could settle the debt in another way as she began to slide her knickers down past the skimpy little skirt she had on.
"Sorry luv," I replied, "You're going to have to pay with money, I can see those will never fit me."Submitted by: giorgiss
I took my girlfriend into a florist's, picked up a bunch of flowers and said, "I'm sorry I cheated on you." She managed to break out into a little smile.
I then put them down, grabbed her hand and walked out again.
She said, "Erm.. Aren't you going to buy me a bunch then?"
"No. It's 'say it with flowers', not 'say it with flowers, then buy them'."Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the hairdressers the other day. She asked me how I would like my hair cut and I replied, "In complete silence!"
Submitted by: giorgiss
CNN NEWS: "Seal Kills Bin Laden"
What a career change eh!
From international pop star to.. international hitman..
Well, suppose if anyone can... a black man can!Submitted by: giorgiss
