The Metropolitan Police Air Support Unit.
Because pigs CAN fly.Submitted by: giorgiss
Went to the doctors the other day. I said, "doctor ,you've got to help me - I keep having visions of the future."
He replied, "when did these start?"
I said, "next Thursday!"Submitted by: giorgiss
NEWSFLASH
West Midlands Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels, stockings, suspenders and crotchless knickers in connection with an armed robbery.
The Chief Constable has said they must wear their normal uniforms though.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've been sacked from my job as a lifeguard.
Whilst using the cripple-crane to hoist a handicapped girl into the pool, and her helper saying;
'Mind her head on the side..' Replying with;
'It's not really going to make much difference though, is it?
Is considered somewhat unprofessional.Submitted by: giorgiss
What's the difference between a secretary and a cannon?
You wouldn't fire a cannon that doesn't blow properlySubmitted by: giorgiss
What's the difference between a plastic surgeon and an OFSTED inspector?
One tucks features...Submitted by: giorgiss
"Shotgun!" I called, smugly, as we walked towards the car.
"No, get in the back."
"But I called shotgun!" I protested.
"Sir, I've had a long day, just get in the back of the police car."Submitted by: giorgiss
If I owned an opticians, I'd have them do the shop sign in a blurred font.
Submitted by: giorgiss
A lawyer was trying to undermine a policeman's credibility...
Q: 'Officer - did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several streets away.'
Q: 'Officer - who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend said she wants to be a comedian.
"You'll be just as succesful as all those other female comedians out there," I told her.
"Like who?"
"Exactly."Submitted by: giorgiss
