An actual true story I witnessed last night:
Police were present in the city centre and on horseback. My mate walked upto one and started stroking the horse. He then said:
"How long does it take to train one of these?"
Copper replied,
"Around 6 months."
My mate, quick as a flash, said,
"I was talking to the horse."
He phoned me with his one call.Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the Barbers today.
"How much for a hair cut?", I asked.
"5", the Barber replied.
"How much for a shave?", I asked.
"2", the Barber replied.
So I said, "Right, well shave my head".Submitted by: giorgiss
A manager and two members of his staff, an engineer and a programmer, are in a car. Its brakes fail, and it nearly goes out of control. Fortunately, they are able to stop it without causing an accident. They all get out, and the engineer says "I'll repair the brakes." The manager says "No, I'll organise a committee, arrange meetings, hold an inquest and, through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." Then the programmer says "I think the best way is to drive back to just before the spot where the brakes failed, and then go along the same route to see if the fault happens again."
Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the doctor and asked if he could give me something for persistent wind.
He gave me a kite.Submitted by: giorgiss
BBC News: High explosives found by bin.
Give this bin a job. This bin gets results, unlike police at the moment.Submitted by: giorgiss
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him an injection, but that didn't do any good.
On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing, throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."Submitted by: giorgiss
'Number Of Police 'Will Fall By 10,000'
How can they be so sure what's going to happen in eight thousand years time?Submitted by: giorgiss
I went to the doctors.
He said, "You've got hypochondria."
I said, "Not that as well."Submitted by: giorgiss
A doctor is speaking to a man. He says, "Do you want the good or the bad news first?"
The man replies, "The good news."
The doctor says, "You have 24 hours to live."
"WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN THAT?!" the man demands.
"I was trying to reach you yesterday."Submitted by: giorgiss
My dentist just won 'dentist of the year'
All he got was a little plaque.Submitted by: giorgiss
