Got put in the psychiatric ward yesterday so I told them I was a sticky substance and I got discharged
Submitted by: giorgiss
BBC News: A version of The Clash song London Calling was used as part of the countdown coverage to the 2012 Olympics. But is it the best advert for the city?
No, but Police and Thieves is.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just seen a show advertised on tv called peter Andre here to help. Here Pete carry this plasma for me... says the guy in hackney.
Submitted by: giorgiss
"Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a deck of cards"
"I knew that when you shuffled into my surgery"!Submitted by: giorgiss
My girlfriend's been to college and is well on her way to being a professional make-up artist.
She's already got her foundation degree.Submitted by: giorgiss
Ive had to take a week off work to go to the doctors and get some medicine,
And by doctors i mean Asda, And by medicine in 3 cases of beer for 20.Submitted by: giorgiss
Quasimodo retired last week.
He got two years back pay and a lump sum.Submitted by: giorgiss
Driving to work, I was laughing at the story on the radio about the cop who got suspended for sneaking Duran Duran lyrics into his evidence at court, when I got pulled over. So, chuckling, I wound the window down and said to the officer 'Please, please tell me now - is there something I should know?'.
I never realised truncheons could be so painful...Submitted by: giorgiss
The sergeant told me that as a constable, it's quite unprofessional of me to sign the bottom of all complaint letters with my initials.
I don't though. It's a mere coincidence that my name is Thomas Lloyd David Richardson.Submitted by: giorgiss
BBC NEWS: Police in Britain arrest agrophobic teenage 'mastermind' behind worldwide hacking.
Well at least he won't need to fear being outside for a long while...Submitted by: giorgiss
