I would just like to say a big thank-you to all those wonderful young people who stand on motorway slip roads holding up boards telling us motorists where they lead to.
Submitted by: giorgiss
This VW Bug pulled up beside this Rolls at a red light, rolled down his window and asked the Rolls driver, "You got a telephone in that Rolls?"
"Matter of fact I do, right here on the seat beside me." said the Rolls driver.
"Me too," said the VW Driver,
"You got a TV in that Rolls?" The Rolls,
"Yes I do, right here on the dash."
"Me too," said the VW,
"You got a twin bed in the back seat?" Rolls,
"No, I do not."
"I do" said the VW as the light turns green and he takes off.
The Rolls manages to get the license number. The Rolls heads straight to the Auto Accessory Store not to let the VW Bug out do him.
"Yes" the accessory attendant said, "We do carry and can install a twin bed in the rear seat of your Rolls." So, after about a week the Rolls driver picked up his Rolls with the newly installed twin bed and immediately set out to locate that VW Bug.
He finally located it parked in the park near the river. As he pulled up beside it he noted that the windows were all fogged over. Knowing what causes this he waited a few minutes. Finally he got out, walked over to the VW, knocked on the window, no response. He waited another few minutes, knocked on the window again. The window lowered a couple inches and the driver said,
"Yes?"
The Rolls driver said, "I wanted you to know that I have a twin bed in the back seat of my Rolls now."
The VW frowns and says, "You get me out of the shower just to tell me that?"Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw people drinking coffee in the service station at 2am.
Do they not read road safety campaigns?
1/5 of accidents are caused by people falling asleep at the wheel.
That means 4/5 are caused by people staying awake.
Theyre the real killers.Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just got back from the future.
Don't worry, the half price DFS sale hasn't ended.Submitted by: giorgiss
I had my driving test today and an animal jumped out in front of the car, so i did what my instuctor said and continued driving..
Apparently that was wrong.
And blacks aren't animals.Submitted by: giorgiss
My god, the traffic these days is a state. Just the other day, I rear-ended a woman at rush hour.
I'm glad I don't own a car.Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm really good at driving. I'm so good in fact that last year I got 25 points.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Since I started gardening with Doc Brown and Marty McFly they've stopped me growing simple flowers and encouraged me to grow complicated vegetables.
I really miss the good old days of flower growing - I wish I could go back to the fuchsias.Submitted by: giorgiss
I have been considering buying a retro second-hand motor.
Specifically, I've been looking at the 1981 DeLorean DMC-12.
That car takes me back...Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw an old car with a sticker on the window which read, 'This car has an alarm and immobiliser'
Which means only one thing...
That car doesn't have an alarm or immobiliser.Submitted by: giorgiss
