Jokes in category: “work”:

I bought my new boss a mirror as a welcoming gift but it turned out to be faulty.
It's not going to reflect well.

Submitted by: giorgiss

One of my previous Bosses used to look at a pile of CVs , pick half of it up at random and throw it straight in the bin, saying "I don't want to work with unlucky people."

Submitted by: giorgiss

Why do car salesmen sleep standing up?
Because they lie all day and don't want to bring work home with them.

Submitted by: giorgiss

British Airways staff are being asked to work for a month without pay.
Have you seen those air stewardesses? Max Factor will go bankrupt. You thought that air stewardess hated you before? You can kiss that cushion goodbye. You'd be as well taking a pot noodle on flights.
At least for that month the only 'bird strikes' on the runway will be malnourished staff beating them to death with clubs.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've been trying to read the Encyclopedia Britannica but keep getting thrown out of the library for shouting at the staff
I can never find the right volume

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've had to perform a lot of manual labour at work recently.
If the babies aren't coming out, I just go in and grab them.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Despite doing ten to the dozen every day at work,I still ended up losing my job.
Quite a few of the bakerys we supply too had been complaining about being short changed.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I was sacked today for tying the boss up
.. Apparently that's not what gaffer tape is used for

Submitted by: giorgiss

I decided to leave work early today,
You should have seen the look on the co-pilots face when i grabbed the only parachute and jumped out of the plane.

Submitted by: giorgiss