If your mother-in-law dies just remember - the gathering that takes place after the burial is called 'the wake.'
Not 'the afterparty.'Submitted by: giorgiss
Whenever you feel down just do what i do, scratch a scratch card near a homeless guy and then go nuts shouting you've won ten grand, once you see the look on their face you'll instantly feel good again.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My friends recommended to me that I join Apathetics Anonymous to remedy my depression, but I'm just not bothered.
Submitted by: giorgiss
"Use only as directed." Really? I'm taking pills, not performing on Broadway.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Some people say love makes the world go round, others say it's money, I say it's the suns gravitational attraction
Submitted by: giorgiss
Putting petrol into a diesel car is like pouring Gin into a woman.
You're guaranteed at some point in the night, she's going to breakdown.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just heard that announcment in the airport not to leave your luggage with anyone you don't trust.
bit late now i left my luggage with the Mcanns an hour ago and have not seen it sinceSubmitted by: giorgiss
Sometimes it's very hard to handle my schizophrenia all alone.. WHO SAID THAT
Submitted by: giorgiss
Have you ever felt like you've had a sudden loss of hearing? Repeating the same thing over & over again and getting nowhere? Does your temper escalate furiously?
Then you've dialed 118 118.Submitted by: giorgiss
Tip for staying safe in the underground:
All the safety videos/posters show a man recklessly running with a briefcase, tripping up.
Answer: Don't carry a briefcase around.Submitted by: giorgiss
