Do you remember the old PG Tips adverts? I've thought about how amusing it would be if they got monkeys to dress up in rappers' clothes and "bling" and "rap" in rap music videos...
Oh wait...Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just bought a load of giant African land snails. I don't want to breed them or anything, I just want to dot them round the garden so the resident hedgehogs think they're in the middle of a wonderful dream.
Submitted by: giorgiss
Whenever I went gambling I always took my lucky goldfish.
He would swim around in his little bowl whilst I gambled.
He died today so I held a small funeral.
Nothing special, I just wrapped him in newspaper with some chips.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was desperate for the toilet earlier today. I had a little turtle-head popping out.
I knew I should have chewed it properly.Submitted by: giorgiss
My mate got killed by a quadrapalegic last night.
I warned him not to pick a fight with a Boa Constrictor.Submitted by: giorgiss
"Come on, I'll help you out of the water. You'll drown otherwise," said the friendly elephant as it placed the fish safely on the tree.
Submitted by: giorgiss
There isn't room to swing a cat in here.
Guess i'll go outside and play.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was devastated to learn that my wife had taken the cat after our divorce.
I thought we had a mutual feline.Submitted by: giorgiss
In recent studies, Shih Tzu dogs are the most likely to attack a person.
Maybe if we stopped calling them Shih Tzu's they'd feel a lot calmer.Submitted by: giorgiss
Apparently worms are at their bravest when they're in pears.
Submitted by: giorgiss
