Telling a woman you work in IT Support can be such a turn off. And then a turn on again.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought a pair of tortoise skin shoes, it took me 3 hours to walk out the shop.
Submitted by: giorgiss
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on." The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened. Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church. As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down. The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.
The priest hands the lady $1 and says... "Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"Submitted by: giorgiss
I have always wanted to be a comedian.............but im scared of being laughed at.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I brought my kids some crayons yesterday...
It was a present to make my kin scrawl.Submitted by: giorgiss
The Head Teacher of my local school asked me to perform a magic trick for the kids in wheelchairs the other day.
So i climbed a ladder.Submitted by: giorgiss
What's grey, got 4 legs and a trunk?
A mouse going on holiday.Submitted by: giorgiss
Last week in the UK a five year old child was shot dead with an air rifle.
Have you ever heard of a more appropriate time for the phrase "I told you it would end in tears."?Submitted by: giorgiss
A dad sees his son looking bored one day and says to him, "Why don't you go over the road and see how Old Mrs Brady is?".
After only a few minutes the son comes back and says to his dad, "Mrs Brady's very cross dad, she says it's none of your business how old she is.".Submitted by: giorgiss
This is a true story which happened on the M1 a short while ago:
A police officer had found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists and one day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.
Ten year old Dennis Porter was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "Radar Trap Ahead." A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "Tips" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.Submitted by: giorgiss
