A man is walking along a beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie thanks the man for freeing him and says, "I will grant you three wishes. But I am a cursed genie, so your mother-in-law will get double what you wish for."
The guy agrees and says," For my first wish, I want a luxury yacht."
The genie says," Your wish is my command!" and poof! A luxury yacht appears, and at the same moment, two yachts appear at his mother-in-law's house.
"And for your second wish?" the genie asks. The guy says, "I wish for 10,000,000."
"Your wish is my command!" the genie says. And poof! A pile of 10,000,000 appears in front of the man and at the same moment 20,000,000 appears in his mother-in-law's bank account.
The genie says, "Now, this is your third and final wish, choose carefully."
"I wish there was a guy here who will beat me half to death."Submitted by: giorgiss
Earlier tonight I woke up to the horror of my house on fire.
I hurriedly woke the kids, grabbed the dog & we made our way downstairs.
"Shush now kids, be quiet" I said as I let them out. "We don't want to wake your mother"Submitted by: giorgiss
What's a mixed feeling?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.Submitted by: giorgiss
One of my daughters suffers from a terrible nut allergy.
She's ok with the bell-end and shaft, but she starts to choke and her eyes water when I force my nuts in her mouth as well.Submitted by: giorgiss
I bought the Mother-in-Law a lovely chair for her birthday.
If she'd only plug it in...Submitted by: giorgiss
A wife walks in and says to her husband; "I've some good news and some bad news!"
"What's the good news?" asks hubby.
"The air bag on your brand new Audi works fine!"Submitted by: giorgiss
What do hillbillies do at Halloween?
Pumpkin.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said to me, "I always get wet when I bath the kids"
I said, "I know what you mean, I always get an erection."Submitted by: giorgiss
"Mummy, Mummy! Why do they call me spastic at school?"
"Shut up and take your feet out of your pockets."Submitted by: giorgiss
My son said that for his birthday he wanted some cars to play with.
So I've just dropped him off on the M25.Submitted by: giorgiss
