Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive for a couple more miles, and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and sure enough............ Grandma's fingering herself again!
Submitted by: giorgiss
Today, I found out that my father named me Luke so he could say, "Luke, I am your father" and laugh about it.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I said to my parents, "Mum, Dad... I've decided to live on my own from now on."
"Okay, cool," they replied.
"Your luggage is outside," I added.Submitted by: giorgiss
"Mummy, can I lick the bowl?"
"No, you can flush like everyone else"Submitted by: giorgiss
As the police put the handcuffs on me, my mother said, "Dan, I've failed you as a mother."
"Mum, my name is Dave."Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife thinks I'm weird for inviting my 10 year-old sons' girlfriend around to our house for dinner.
Apparently I should have invited my wife and son as well.Submitted by: giorgiss
My daughter's school teacher rang me today.
"Young Sarah didn't turn up for school today?" he said.
"I know, her mother died yesterday," I replied. "So she won't be back for a while."
"Sorry to hear that," he sighed. "How's she getting on?"
"Very well," I replied. "She's on her third lot of laundry and has already prepared dinner."Submitted by: giorgiss
I just started to rummage through my teenage sister's knicker drawer then quickly realised I was doing something totally wrong - I should check the laundry basket first.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My daughter was running a temperature so I rang the doctor. He asked was she hot.
I said, "Well, with a little make-up..."Submitted by: giorgiss
Unlike some people on Sickipedia, I am not tempted by incest and paedophilia. My daughter is too precious. And ugly.
Submitted by: giorgiss
