you know your dad's cheap when he tells you to photocopy a stamp....
Submitted by: giorgiss
Is was getting tea-bagged by my wife the other day. Then i thought to my self, wait a minute.....
Submitted by: giorgiss
what happened to the split condom?
Look in the mirror.Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm not ready for parenthood.
I don't do hats.Submitted by: giorgiss
It was graduation day and my wife wanted to take a picture of my son with me in his cap and gown.
' Stand beside your father and put your arm round his shoulder, ' said my wife, ' I want the picture to look natural. '
' If you want the picture to look natural,tell him to put his hand in my pocket, ' I replied.Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw my dad smiling and I asked "What are you thinking about?"
He replied "Oh I'm just remembering the good old days"
"Your childhood?"
"before you were born"Submitted by: giorgiss
Mother: "Charlie can I ask you what a word means?"
Me: "Go on then"
Mum: "Actually I might look it up online, it could be a bit rude"
Me: "What is it?"
Mum: "Vajazzle"
Me: "Ah yes that is rude"
Mum: "So its not the trumpet thing they had in the world cup?"
That rounded my year off quite well.Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said to me I wish you'd play with me like you do those video games.
So I shot her in the face with an AK-47.Submitted by: giorgiss
As it nears fathers day I thought I'd get my dad a football shirt,
now to untie it from the lampostSubmitted by: giorgiss
My wife left me, telling me I'll never see our kids again.
Finally after 5 years we agree on something.Submitted by: giorgiss
