Some guy knocked at my door this morning and asked me if I've ever considered an alternative energy supplier.
I said, "No, I'm quite happy with food."Submitted by: giorgiss
I woke up in the Police station this morning with no memory of the previous night.
I really need to stop drinking on duty.Submitted by: giorgiss
Why don't you see any woman ventriloquists?
They don't keep their mouths shut.Submitted by: giorgiss
Well, I know I won't be able to watch Comic Relief tonight without picking up the phone.
Watching all those starving kids with their distended bellies always makes me think the same thing...
"I'm a bit peckish myself... I think I'll order a pizza."Submitted by: giorgiss
I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups.
But I'm not holding my breath.Submitted by: giorgiss
One day, there was a man who got cursed by a gypsy. The curse was that he could only speak 4 words each year.
One day, he had met a beautiful woman whom he wanted to marry, but he had already used up his 4 words. So he spent the next year courting her, buying her expensive gifts and trying to woo her.
It was finally a year later, and over a candle lit dinner he proceeded to ask her the big question.
'Will you marry me?'
She replied
'Pardon?'Submitted by: giorgiss
My wife said she's had enough of me and my selfish ways.
So I thought I'd surprise her by buying her a PS3 and Call of Duty to say sorry.Submitted by: giorgiss
What did one DNA say to another?
Do these genes make me look too fat?Submitted by: giorgiss
I love my six-pack.
It's no wonder I protect it with a thick layer of fat.Submitted by: giorgiss
Just got my results from E-Harmony.. They matched me with a computer chair and a tub of Vaseline.
Submitted by: giorgiss
