I confidently walked up to a girl at the bar and introduced myself. She looked me in the eyes and said, "I think you're the one."
"Well how about we see how tonight goes first," I replied.
"No, you're definitely the one. It was five years ago and I was walking through the park late at night..."Submitted by: giorgiss
My son asked me where the most dangerous place on earth is.
I'm stuck between Iraq/Kandahar place.Submitted by: giorgiss
What do we want?
PROCRASTINATION!
When do we want it?
Next week.Submitted by: giorgiss
"Two's company, three's a crowd"
As they like to say at Wigan Athletic.Submitted by: giorgiss
"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."
-Evil Knievel
"What doesn't kill me makes me smaller"
-Super MarioSubmitted by: giorgiss
How do you get a fat policewoman into bed?
PC cakeSubmitted by: giorgiss
"One door closes, and another door opens" said my boss.
Which is why I'm such a poor submarine designer.Submitted by: giorgiss
I was at death's door last night.
I said, "Could I interest you in our fantastic range of double glazing, Mr Reaper?"Submitted by: giorgiss
There's an old saying, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, but give him a fishing rod and he'll eat forever."
It was in this spirit that I gave the local winos some grapes.Submitted by: giorgiss
You know how they say, "You end up looking like your pets"?
Well, I reckon my wife is hiding a pet hippo from me.Submitted by: giorgiss
