I started throwing up before I got on the plane.. does that make me terminally ill?
Submitted by: giorgiss
I have a habit of sleeping in too late and missing work, so my doctor recommended that I sleep in a herb garden.
At first it sounded odd, but I did wake up on thyme.Submitted by: giorgiss
I sometimes wonder what I'd do if I ever got a time machine....
I guess I'd probably go back in time and stop myself from wasting time by wondering about something that'll 'never happen', thus inadvertently preventing the existence of the time machine.
But then, if I prevented the existence of the time machine, how did future me come back in time to warn present me?
I guess the lesson here is that time is not linear, but a tangled web of intertwining events.
Oh, and you shouldn't do acid.Submitted by: giorgiss
So I'm losing one hour of sleep tonight?
Daylight robbery.Submitted by: giorgiss
They're going to put a clock on the leaning tower of Pisa.
That way it'll have both the time and the inclination.Submitted by: giorgiss
Being a woman involves spending half of your time being lost, and the other half, getting there.
Submitted by: giorgiss
The new watch I bought has no hands.
To be fair, it is made by Guess.Submitted by: giorgiss
Everyone lost an hour sleep last night...
Apart from Jocky Wilson.Submitted by: giorgiss
People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.
Submitted by: giorgiss
I've just put my clock backwards.
Didn't help at all, can't see the time now...Submitted by: giorgiss
