So there I was at work, bashing one out all morning.
Then, after lunch, it hit me: you have to hold down the shift key to get an exclamation mark!Submitted by: giorgiss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the boss's wife instead.
"I'm afraid he died last week," she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you," the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."Submitted by: giorgiss
The new 'Dark' Mars bar;
I tried one but then found I could only rest and play.....Submitted by: giorgiss
I used to have a job at a stationary firm, but i resigned....
...as i felt it wasn't going anywhere...Submitted by: giorgiss
I own a shop selling 'CLOSED' signs.
We haven't had a single customer.Submitted by: giorgiss
They say that Air Traffic Controllers and Dentists have the highest suicide rates of any other professions.
Really? I would've gone with Suicide Bombers.Submitted by: giorgiss
My boss texted me, "Send me one of your funny jokes Pete."
I replied, "I'm working at the moment, I will send you one later."
He replied, "That was fantastic, send me another one."Submitted by: giorgiss
Tip for out of work actors:
Pretend you have some work, and hey presto, you're working.Submitted by: giorgiss
I got wheel clamped parked outside the bank today. My boss went mental.
He says I'm the worst getaway driver he's ever had.Submitted by: giorgiss
I saw a sign today that read: Tiredness kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.Submitted by: giorgiss
