I went to a job interview Friday and I demonstrated my amazing ability to fart the national anthem.
The bloke laughed so much I offered him the job.Submitted by: giorgiss
Give a man a job and you have an employee.
Teach a man how to shift blame and you have a manager.Submitted by: giorgiss
My boss called me into his office earlier.
He said, "Do you think it's acceptable to stagger into work at 11am stinking of booze?"
I said, "Yeah, go for it mate."
I'm now unemployed.Submitted by: giorgiss
Have you ever wondered how stupid a balloon seller feels in the high street when he's down to his last balloon?
Submitted by: giorgiss
Yesterday was my first day working on a construction site, and being the new guy I felt pretty sure that as a prank, someone would send me to fetch something that didn't actually exist, you know, like 'striped paint' or something like that.
Sure enough, someone ran up to me telling me to get an 'Air Ambulance'.
I thought "Yeah right! Like I'm falling for that one!"
I'm now unemployed again and due in court next week.Submitted by: giorgiss
I can't wait for tomorrow.
It's come to work in a bra and knickers day.
Well, that's what we've told the apprentice.Submitted by: giorgiss
I told my boss I couldn't make it to work because of the weather today.
"But it's sunny outside," he said.
"Exactly," I replied, cracking open a beer.Submitted by: giorgiss
My first night working as a bouncer didn't last long...
As soon as I got there they showed me the door.Submitted by: giorgiss
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Submitted by: giorgiss
My boss said, "Apparently, if you add a bit of humour to the work place, it brightens up people's moods."
I said, "Really?"
He replied, "Yeah.. Knock knock."
I said, "Who's there?"
He replied, "Not you tomorrow, you're fired."Submitted by: giorgiss
