Jokes in category: “work”:

I haven't been in work in four days. I've almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I went to the Job Centre for an interview.
I said: 'I ain't got no qualifications, no skills and as for my customer service, sod off.'
She said: 'Great, you're exactly what they're after at PC world'.

Submitted by: giorgiss

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said, "You've been promoted."
And I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said, "You've been promoted again."
And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said, "You're managing director."
And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said, "What happened to you?"
And I said, "I careered off the road."

Submitted by: giorgiss

Being a prison guard has to be the easiest job ever.
I mean, who's going to steal a prison?

Submitted by: giorgiss

I've landed a job talking to oriental immigrants about their future employment prospects.
I'm a Korea Advisor.

Submitted by: giorgiss

The recruitment consultant asked me, "What do you think of voluntary work?"
I said, "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

Submitted by: giorgiss

My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels
He's the Spokesman.

Submitted by: giorgiss

I refuse to let my son become a mime. It's frightening how many of them end up on the street.

Submitted by: giorgiss

Always give 100% at work.......
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays

Submitted by: giorgiss

I said to my wife this morning, "You look like death"
She said, "I haven't done my make up yet!"
I said, "That doesn't really explain the hooded cloak and scythe"

Submitted by: giorgiss